Perfect marriage? I can already hear all the comments! “There is no such thing as a perfect marriage.” “Perfect marriages don’t exist.” Well, I’m here to tell you that they do. The question is, are you willing to train your spouse in order to get one?
3 Ways to Train Your Spouse for a Perfect Marriage
I love the movie “How to Train Your Dragon.” It’s one of the best-animated films I’ve ever seen. Of course, as much as the digital graphics and cinematography were meant to captivate and delight children, the life messages for young and old can’t be missed. If you haven’t watched it, or if it’s been a while, revisit the movie if your marriage is going through some things. I found a few nuggets that, if taken to heart, can help you and your spouse produce the perfect marriage.
Remember It’s the Two of You Versus the World
In the movie, Hiccup goes against Viking tradition when he befriends rather than destroys his first dragon who he names Toothless. Now, when you are born and raised in a family of dragon slayers, that doesn’t exactly go over well at dinner. The two supposed enemies end up as best friends and must face off friend and foe alike. Marriage is no different. If you want a perfect marriage, you must remember that it’s the two of you against the world. Train your spouse…and yourself to embrace unity in your relationship. In good times, in bad times, in the in-between times, you join hands with your spouse and present a unified front. Period.
Never Leave Your Spouse Behind
In his attempt to kill Toothless at the start of the film, Hiccup inadvertently destroys his left tail rendering him incapable of flying. As their relationship develops, Hiccup thinks of a way to get Toothless back into the air. He builds an artificial tail, straps it to his dragon and they eventually have lift off.
Isn’t that what marriage is like? Things aren’t always great. And sometimes, one of you gets knocked down. But, if you train your spouse…and yourself to have your back no matter what, your marriage will have lift off again in no time.
A perfect marriage is not free of trouble. A perfect marriage is defined by how you treat your spouse when trouble comes. Do you tear down your spouse and leave them incapacitated on the sidelines? Do you take advantage of their weakness in order to make yourself feel better? Or, do you recognize and acknowledge your mistakes and then move heaven and earth to fix it? Train your spouse…and yourself, that when trouble comes you won’t leave each other behind. Period.
Don’t Allow Others to Define Your Relationship
Hiccup almost caught a beatdown from his tribe for joining hands with Toothless. I mean, after all, Toothless was a dragon and they killed dragons, not tamed them. His father, friends, and others did not believe dragons were tamable. They tried to do all they could to turn Hiccup against Toothless and dragons in general. However, Hiccup saw in Toothless what they didn’t. Rather than let them tell him what kind of relationship he would have with the dragon, he showed them the relationship he chose to have.
Your perfect marriage will be defined by you and your spouse and only you and your spouse. There will be plenty of people on the outside looking in and offering their take on your relationship. From the time you say “I do,” train your spouse…and yourself to be ruled only by what you each think of your relationship. If you allow others to define your arguments for you, your relationship suffers. If you give others a foothold on the decisions that need to be made in your marriage, your relationship suffers.
To get the perfect marriage, train your spouse…and yourself, to be the ones to define what that means. Period.
Sure, I get that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. But, all that means is that there is no marriage free of trouble. However, just as Hiccup and Toothless were able to overcome their differences and find meaning in what should have been an impossible relationship, so can you and your partner. Your marriage won’t look like anyone else’s. Your life won’t be like anyone else’s. But to train your spouse…and yourself to have the perfect marriage, you only have to know it’s perfect for the two of you. Period.