Entertainment (183)

Though it’s hard to believe, you and your spouse have finally done it. You’ve stepped away from the grind of corporate America and have become true entrepreneurs. What was once a side hustle has now become a money maker and together, you’re building your own little empire. As excited as you are, you’re also aware of some hard truths. Managing your own business takes work…hard work. In fact, there are days where you long for the comfort of a time clock so you can punch in, punch out, and go home. It’s not that you regret venturing out on your own. It’s just that staying in love when your spouse is your business partner means you automatically double the work necessary to become successful.

Staying in Love When Your Spouse is Your Business Partner

  1. Keep in mind you still have a Boss
  2. Love your work so you can work your love
  3. Remember what’s important
  4. When tensions rise, k.i.s.s. and make up

Going into business with your spouse can be the blessing of a lifetime or a death knell to your relationship. Only you and your partner can decide the direction your marriage will take. But, that’s good news. You get to choose the path to your legacy before you even start. As far as it depends on you, keeping your business and your Boo in the proper perspective will ensure a lasting union with both. Here are four ways to handle your business so it doesn’t handle you.

 

Keep in mind you still have a Boss

When you first started your business as a side hustle, gratitude kept you honest. Whatever your faith, you gave thanks to a higher power. If you’re Christian, you couldn’t help but make your way to Colossians 3:23, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.” Yes. It’s true. You still have a Boss. It’s not you. It’s not your spouse. It’s a power greater than you both. When you each focus on serving Him, business as usual takes a back seat to business with purpose. When you approach it that way, it’s easy to ask for and get all hands on deck.

 

Love your work so you can work your love

Hopefully, the business you and your spouse are in is one you each have a passion for. Staying in love with your spouse as you build an empire doesn’t happen when either or both of you hate the empire. If you’re both in love with the idea of the business and what it could mean as a legacy for your family, then staying in love becomes much easier. Planning date nights and fun trips around work events when you love your work is a sure recipe for a happy partnership in business and in marriage.

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Remember what’s important

So yes, you love your work. But you also love your spouse. It’s not a competition. Your marriage comes first. By prioritizing what matters most, you and your spouse will work even harder to ensure the success of the business you’re building. Don’t lose sight of the vows you took. It wasn’t “to have and to hold” a business, but rather “to have and to hold” each other. Staying in love doesn’t have to get complicated when a business partnership is involved. If you keep first things first, everything else will fall in line.

 

When tensions rise, k.i.s.s. and make up

Who am I kidding? When you work with your spouse, there are times that things will get tense. If you have other employees in the room, they’re bound to notice. Don’t allow rough spots to linger when you don’t see eye to eye with your spouse. If necessary, take some time away from the office and k.i.s.s. and make up.

  • K – Kneel together in prayer and address the issue with your Boss first.
  • I – Identify the primary area of disagreement and try to see things from your partner’s point of view.
  • S – Submit your will to God and ask him for guidance on the issue.
  • S – “Sorry” goes a long way to smoothing over tensions in the office and at home.

After you “kiss,” don’t forget to make up. Step away from work and do something fun with your spouse. Staying in love requires pushing through difficult times and finding joy in your partner again. It won’t be easy, but it’s necessary for your union and your business to successfully coexist.

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Many couples run away from the idea of partnering with their spouse on a business venture. Whether it’s out of fear or terror, the idea just doesn’t sit well. But it can be done and done well when each spouse has the right attitude and the right focus. If you’re thinking about partnering with your spouse, but are still on the fence, first look to your Boss, then your heart for the answer that best suits your relationship.

BMWK, what things are you doing in your relationship to ensure you are staying in love with your spouse in marriage and in business?

 

Source: https://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/

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Marriage has long been characterized by many as an independence killer. It’s not unusual to hear antagonistic phrases such as “ball and chain,” or “on lockdown,” when talking to people about their spouse or about getting married. This stigma, while it hasn’t derailed the billion dollar wedding industry, continues to sully the image of truly successful marriages. It is, quite frankly, annoying. True enough, marriage is hard and it takes work. But, it is also one of the most emotionally, mentally, and physically liberating experiences one could have. So, as we near the celebration of our country’s independence, I thought it fitting that we share the role of freedom in marriage. Not only are behaviors that lead to freedom necessary, but they are a driving force behind marriage success and should no longer catch a bad rap.

Freedom in Marriage: 3 Liberating Behaviors That Promote Marriage Success

  1. Vulnerability – letting someone all the way in liberates the mind
  2. Honesty – telling the truth liberates the heart
  3. Meditation – time alone to pray, worship, or meditate liberates the spirit

For years, television sitcom’s “Martin” made Martin and Gina #relationshipgoals for some couples. We watched their relationship blossom and grow. We also saw some heartache and setbacks that were all too real. In one of the most moving episodes, the opportunity to advance in her career meant Gina had to move to a new city and either take her relationship with Martin to the next level or leave him behind. Though Martin loved Gina, he thought the whole thing was a plot meant to bully him into proposing to her. So he did. Check out the clip below and then let’s move on.

It was one of the most gut-wrenching proposals on TV. It underscored the stigma associated with marriage to an audience that many falsely believe have a problem with marriage. Martin’s fear of losing his independence drove him to act in a way unbecoming of the relationship they had worked so hard to build. What he didn’t realize is that once united, there are liberating behaviors that promote rather than hinder independence and all but guarantee marriage success.

 

Vulnerability

One of the hardest things for people to do in relationships is to be vulnerable. For many, opening up means peeling back layers they’re unable or unwilling to face. However, just like peeling an onion, vulnerability often produces tears. There’s something to be said about having a good cry. Letting others in on the thoughts that plague you and depress your mind can offer the kind of cleansing necessary to function well in a relationship.

If your spouse is truly your best friend, they will embrace the chance to hurt with you, cry with you and pray for you. Once you get it all out, you truly feel liberated and you have strengthened the bond between you and your spouse.

 

Honesty

Like vulnerability, honesty has its perks. When you are honest with your spouse it frees your heart from harboring resentment that might otherwise build up. Marriage success is not possible without honesty in your relationship. Now, don’t get me wrong. There’s a difference between intentionally hurting someone with your words and being honest. It’s important to use wisdom when you have to talk about matters that might cause pain. However, hiding the truth suffocates the heart. Rather than allowing things to fester inside of you, speak the truth in love to your spouse and set your heart, and most likely theirs, free.

 

Meditation

Whether you call it meditation, prayer, alone time or something else, the point is you should free yourself from all the noise. Vulnerability frees the mind and honesty frees the heart. But there’s nothing quite as exhilarating as a free spirit. Take time to connect with God, nature, or even your inner self. Allow your spirit to soar and watch your relationship with your spouse rises to whole new levels. Give your marriage the chance at success by giving your spirit the chance to recharge.

Discover the secret to Unbreakable Relationships! Signup for our FREE 4-Part Video Series! GET IT NOW!

For all of those who are afraid of losing their freedom in marriage, I believe you’ve got it all wrong. There is no greater opportunity to grow as a person and find ultimate freedom than when you surrender yourself to those liberating behaviors that can truly set you free.

 

Source: https://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/

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Another weekend has come and gone and you and your spouse spent it doing the “same ole, same ole.” He mowed the lawn. You did the laundry. Later, you both watched TV then went to bed. Yawn! Don’t get me wrong. The love is still there. However, you weren’t shocked to find your wedding picture next to “boring marriage” on the internet. How did this happen? You two were the talk of the town during your courtship. You had so much fun together. But, at some point, you settled into a routine that left your marriage wanting. Now, you’re ready to turn the tables and set things back in motion. The question is, where should you start?

Boring Marriage? 2 Stupid Simple Ways to Spice Things Up

  1. Turn off the TV.
  2. Leave the house.

Making a decision to spice things up in your relationship is the easy part. Following through is where things get tough. Chances are you’ve worked pretty hard all week. By the time Friday comes around, you’re beyond tired. In fact, just the thought of doing anything outside of curling up in front of the TV wears you out. But a boring marriage isn’t what you signed up for so it’s time to make some changes. It’s time to spice things up and here are two extremely stupid simple ways to do just that!

 

Turn off the TV

Stupid. Simple. Not much else needs to be said here. However, just in case you’ve fooled yourself into thinking TV is a “fun” part of your relationship, let me help you out. Whether it’s watching Game of Thrones, a saving the whales documentary, or Martin re-runs, a night spent in front of the tube makes the “boring list” for marriage activity. Sure, once in a while, a night of Netflix and chill can turn into something more. But chances are if your marriage is boring, it’s time to let that idea go.

Whip out some cards and play strip poker. Grab a photo album and reminisce about the good old days. Have some friends over and get your spades game on. Turn on the radio. Dance a little salsa. Or let Luther take you…ahem…there.

Whatever you choose, just turn off the TV and make it spicy!

 

Leave the House

The comforts of home can make slaves of us all. At home, you don’t have to deal with the hassle of dressing to the nines and putting on makeup and tipping the server. Complacency creeps in and excitement creeps out. Finding a sitter takes a backseat to finding the right channel. What were once nights to remember have turned into nights you’d just as soon forget.

Enough said. It’s time to leave the house.

But for a couple whose nightlife has grown stale, what’s there to do? It wouldn’t hurt to call up some friends and schedule a double date. If your dating game is a little rusty, there’s no shame in tagging along with a couple who’s always on the move. Once you get started, you’ll find yourself planning some wild nights on the town by yourself. Here are some things you can look forward to:

 
  • Take some dance lessons together
  • Spice up your life with a cooking class
  • Go enjoy a day at an amusement park
  • Take in an outdoor…or indoor concert
  • A picnic in the park can be a lot of fun
  • Drive to a nearby city and take in the sights
  • Dinner without the movie also has its perks
  • A day at the beach, the lake, the pond…make it work for you

There are options galore for bringing some spice back into your relationship. But first, you have to take a sobering look at your time and see if you’re sharing the best time of your life with the love of your life. If you give in to complacency and neglect your thirst for excitement, your marriage will suffer.

I promised you two stupid-simple ways to spice up your boring marriage. And, that’s what you got. But by doing just those two things alone, you open up your relationship to a host of possibilities. Consider the effort you put into dating your spouse. Light that fire again in your marriage and sparks are bound to fly!

 

Source: https://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/

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“She’s your – Queen to be!” If you’ve ever seen “Coming to America,” these lyrics and the way they are sung stand out in the movie. Sang out of tune and high pitched, it was the first line to the song introducing Eddie Murphy’s character, Prince Akeem Joffer, to his bride to be, at least the one who had been arranged for him since birth. After her grand entrance, Akeem attempts to have a private chat with her. Since it’s their first meeting, he tries to get to know her, you know, her likes and dislikes. He soon learns that her whole life, she’s been trained to do one thing: meet his needs and his needs only. Unhappy with their choice for him, Akeem sets out to America to find his bride, someone who can serve alongside him as king and queen when his time comes to rule Zamunda.

King and Queen: How to Treat Your Spouse Like Royalty

  1. Respect their mind
  2. Follow their heart
  3. Love their spirit
  4. Serve their body
  5. Obey their intentions
 

Respect their mind

When Akeem attempts to learn about his arranged bride, he asks her about the things that she likes. Her answer was always the same. She liked whatever he liked. And, she would do whatever he told her to do. So, he asks her bark like a dog. And, she does. Now, we laugh at that scene because it’s a movie and it’s funny. However, the lesson here is that Akeem wanted a woman, a queen, he could respect.

As king and queen in a relationship, it’s important to have a high level of respect for your spouse. Respecting their independence of thought, their ability to think and act for themselves is the first place to start. Though the husband might lead the relationship, he seeks his wife’s thoughts in every area. Different points of view help us to grow as people and a good king and queen know that it makes your union that much more exciting and your bond that much stronger.

 

Follow their heart

Treating your spouse like royalty may start with respect, but it means nothing if you can’t understand and follow their heart. Always assume the good about your partner. Often times in relationships, especially during moments of conflict, frustrations abound when our hearts are misunderstood.

In the movie, Akeem travels to America and meets Lisa. As he courts her, not only does he hide his royal heritage, he presents himself as extremely poor. Upon learning his true status, Lisa is very upset. To her, it appeared as though he were testing her heart whereas, for him, he just wanted to be loved as a man, not a prince. There may be times when your partner’s actions are questionable. But to treat them like royalty, it’s important to first believe in the goodness of their character. For Akeem and Lisa, they both learned the lesson that they should assume the good and not the worst about their partner’s heart. You should do the same.

 

Love their spirit

When Akeem first meets Lisa, he’s smitten. Is she beautiful? Yes. But as he gets to know her, he’s not only struck by the softness of her smile, he’s also moved by the kindness of her spirit. Learning to love the spiritual energy your partner brings to your relationship is an important way to treat them like royalty.

 

Serve their body

Yes. I said, “serve.” Intimacy in a king and queen relationship is about just that, service. Finding out your partner’s likes and dislikes when it comes to sexual pleasure is an important step in treating them like royalty. Rather than focusing solely on your personal needs, there is tremendous satisfaction in meeting the needs of your spouse. Whether it’s engaging in foreplay or touching them where they like to be touched, the royal treatment is service oriented.

 

Obey their intentions

I have to say it’s unfortunate that when it comes to marriage, the word obey has gotten a really bad rap. I can’t say it’s without good reason. It has been abused so often that the intent of it has been completely twisted. When you are in a king and queen relationship, understanding each other’s intentions and being obedient to it doesn’t have to be complicated. It requires gratitude and humility to both see where your spouse is coming from as well as obey their requests of you. When you choose to see their point of view and submit your will to theirs, you are letting them know you uphold them as royalty in your life. It doesn’t mean you blindly follow, it just means you respect their role as your partner in the relationship.

 

In Coming to America, Akeem finds his bride. He found someone who he was will to respect, follow, love, serve, and obey. Lisa was also willing to do the same for Akeem. As the eventual king and queen if Zamunda, they could not rule as one without these qualities. For your family, your own little nation to be its best, you must treat your spouse like royalty. These five qualities are a great way to start.

BMWK, in what ways do you treat your spouse like royalty?

 

Source: https://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/

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I dated a millionaire miser. His name was Peter, and it was one of the most toxic relationships I’d ever been in. But, it was also one of the most transformational.

I can thank Peter for teaching me a few surprising things about love and money. Maybe you’ll benefit from learning them, too.

Money Is a Stand-In for Many of Our Values

I grew up in a household where money was hard to come by. Once I entered the working world, I became obsessed with saving money as a way to avoid poverty, as opposed to building wealth or funding professional and personal opportunities for growth. My thinking has since evolved, and I have come to view money as a tool to help me live life on my terms, which includes saving, spending, donating and investing.

In dating a miser, I witnessed how money could be used as a weapon to punish and control. Peter believed his wealth entitled him to speak poorly to waitresses, department store staff or anyone that he felt had less money than he did.

Dating a Financial Extreme Can Be the Wake-Up Call You Need

While dating Peter, I saw him read books in their entirety and return them to bookstores, haggle over the price of end-of-day pizza, skimp on tips and manipulate situations to get out of buying costly gifts. Observing these behaviors forced me to reflect on my own. While I had never done any of these things, it made me think about some of my unsavory financial actions and motivations.

Since dating Peter, I’ve adjusted some of my money behaviors: I tip at least 15 percent; I still love a discount, but don’t become despondent when I don’t receive one (specifically if I can outright afford it); I think about price as much as I do value when making a purchase.

Love should be easy in the beginning, but I soon found myself rolling my eyes at how Peter treated money, and by extension, the world around him: one-sided, self-absorbed and extremely demanding. In hindsight, I should have ended the three-month relationship sooner, but the bottom line was that it had to end and it did.

Misers Make Financial Intimacy Hard, but Financial Infidelity Easy

Cultivating financial intimacy, or the ability to communicate openly and honestly about money with your partner, is difficult to do with a miser. In the short time that we dated, Peter didn’t like the idea that I worked and wanted me to stop working if we were to get serious, despite my core (non-negotiable) beliefs of financial independence and career fulfillment. Even though there was never a chance that I would ever marry this man, I already thought about ways to hide my financial and career advancements and achievements while we dated, which would only deepen in a marriage to a man that wanted to dominate, if not, oppress financially.

I ended this jaunt of a relationship with Peter nearly ten years ago. It’s still one of the most memorable relationships I’ve had — not for the love, but for the lessons. If my life were a book, then Peter would have been my foil, the character that shows qualities that are in contrast with the qualities of the protagonist (me). The foil’s ultimate objective is to highlight the traits of the other character.

From Peter, I learned about how much love I had to give (and wanted to give) by how much love he withheld. From Peter, I learned that I wanted to use money as a way to express gratitude and appreciation for myself and others by experiencing how he systemically shortchanged and reduced the people in his life, including me. And for that, I will always be grateful.

 

Source: http://www.thefrugalfeminista.com/blog/

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Getting your college degree is one of the primary things that will shape your future, and your earning potential when you go into the world of work. Not only this, but it will also enable you to foster the values of independence and time-keeping, and it will also help you to adapt to a multitude of social environments.

Whilst there are many benefits of college, the truth is that it is a very expensive option. How are you supposed to get through your degree, without ending up with an unmanageable amount of debt? We’ve put together some quick tips.

 

Look for part-time work

Part-time work will enable you to save some cash whilst you get your college degree, and it also helps you to manage your time more efficiently. Whilst many people work in cafes, bars and restaurants, or perhaps in retail roles, you could get more money for less time spent working if you seek tutoring jobs, essay writing roles, or writing on a freelance basis. Think about how you can get some extra cash, without compromising your studies, and subsequently the result of your degree.

Study remotely

If you don’t want to have to splash out for the expensive costs associated with college, such as accommodation prices and the commuting expenses, then it could be a good idea to look into doing your degree via an online college. You will still get the same amount of support, and the same materials, but you can save money and time by doing your degree from home, or even from your local coffee shop. This is also ideal for parents who are looking for an increased sense of flexibility.

Limit your (expensive) social time

When you’re at college, you want to be sure that you’re meeting new people as often as possible, and that you’re establishing yourself socially. Of course, there is nothing wrong with this, but if you get pulled too far into the social side of college, you could find yourself splashing out on food, drinks, and events on almost every night of the week. Go to free (or cheap) social events as often as you can, and try to limit the amount of times that you head out to those more expensive restaurants.

Make your meals in advance at home

If you really want to save yourself some cash at college, you should be avoiding expensive lunches – and meals in general – as much as you can. A good way to do this is to make sure that you plan out some of your meals in advance, and make big batches of food so that you can take it into college for a few days in a row. This way, you can save yourself time instead of constantly cooking, and you can also save some money that you would have spent in the cafeteria, getting that lunchtime fix.

So, if you want to save money whilst getting your college degree, then keep these things in mind, and you should come out of the other side with less debt!

 

Source: http://www.thefrugalfeminista.com/blog/

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MEET KARA

Hi!  I’m Kara, founder of The Frugal Feminista!

Welcome! The Frugal Feminista was created from a deep  place of love, advocacy, and joy that comes from understanding the brilliance and beauty of black women; and knowing the role that money can play in helping them live life on their own terms.

Our mission.

What sets The Frugal Feminista apart from other personal finance and personal development sites is our approach to helping black women step into their financial confidence, demolish their debt, and set themselves up to achieve financial ease. We approach money healing through: Sisterhood. Support. Sacred Self-Care. Solid Steps and Strategies. 

 

Consider me your financial friend.

When I was scrapping and clawing my way out of $65k worth of student loan and consumer debt, $40k of which I was able to eliminate in two years, I learned sooooo much about money, but sooooo much more about myself.

I came face-to- face with the limits that I put on myself and the limited and unhealthy beliefs I held about money.

Hands down, I think brown girls get a bad rap when it comes to how we understand our worth, goodness, and positioning in society. And for all intents and purpose, so does money: Everyone wants it, talks about it,  dreams about it, but rarely knows how to handle it with care and purpose.

And as your financial friend,  I  teach,  coach, and guide you to moving your money mess to a money makers. On top of that, I provide you with the right resources and supports to get you there.

 

So when I created  The Frugal Feminista, I wanted to make sure that I told the truth and nothing but the truth about black women and money. No where on the web will you find a site that simultaneously helps brown girls heal, deepen, and strengthen not only their relationship with themselves, but also with their money. It’s an ambitious mission, but one I feel completely committed and qualified to do.

 

Since 2013, I’ve worked with thousands of women as a writer, coach, consultant, and speaker on helping black women break up with being broke, break free from the money blocks and personal hurdles that keep them from financial confidence, living a debt free life, and owning their piece of financial peace. On top of that, I’ve partnered with a number of brands to spread this message. From Prudential to Chrysler to Dove to Dryel, The Frugal Feminista has worked with quality brands with campaigns that align with our mission: financial empowerment and personal development that is authentic, kind, and thoughtful.

One of my greatest hopes is that the content on The Frugal Feminista makes you feel like you’ve just finished a loooong, cool glass of lemonade. I hope the writing and messages make you smack your lips, throw your head back, and come back for seconds.

I want you to feel that good. That poured into.

Here are a few articles to get you started!

3 Lessons A Trip to DC Taught Me About My Money Issues

Maurice The Miser: A Financial Loser You Must Avoid

3 Simple Ways to Rebuild Your Credit

Black Women As Minimalists. The Next Needed Trend?

Is Minimalism Your Cure for Clutter and Debt?

8 Places to Sell Your Used Clothes for Cash

9 Things I Did to Pay Back My $40K Student Loan Debt in Two Years

5 Different Ways to Save $1,400 This Year Doing the 52-Week Savings Challenge

She Get It From Her Mama: Parents and the Formation of Financial Identities

Witty is Sexy: The 7-Part Formula to Being Witty

From Fatherless Daughter to Happy Wife

Enjoy and drop me a note about what resonated with you most at kara@thefrugalfeminista.com.

And one last thing. I always like it when tribe leaders share a little more about themselves. Sooooo, I wanted to do the same!! 

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1. Jamaica Kincaid is my favorite writer! One of my dreams came true in 2015 when I met her and gave her a hug. I asked her for her email address and she gave it to me. I wrote her three emails, but she never responded. My husband says that I crossed the line from being a fan to becoming a full-fledged hiding-in-the-bushes-with-sunglasses-at-nighttime stalker when I contemplated writing a fourth. Perhaps he was right. I eventually stopped thinking about sending a fourth…eventually.

2. I love retreats. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. Retreats give me time to reflect, rejuvenate, and review my plans for world domination. My favorite low-cost, high-quality retreat center is in Haines Falls, NY.

3. I’m a fake vegan. Please don’t judge me. LOL. I don’t know how many times I’ve started and failed the transition from full-on meat eater to vegan. The struggle is so real, but I can’t stop, won’t stop. 

4. Getting into debt and out of debt was one of the best things that have happened to me. It helped me discover my passion for personal finance and helping women that look like me get their financial lives in tip-top shape.

5. I like a dollop of ratchet reality television. I’m #TeamNene all day. Don’t care.

6. I’m a therapy evangelist (stole that title from a good friend) so, it’s not surprising that one of my favorite movies is Good Will Hunting, which is largely about a mutually transformative relationship between a therapist and his patient.

7. I’ve had locs for close to seventeen years and I’ve cut them short at least three times and threaten to chop them all off  (with the exception of two teeny tiny ones at the front) during the hottest months of the year.

8. Next year, I will be in Antigua (pronounced An-te-ga, not An-te-gua) playin’ mass. Yes. Yes. Yes.

9. I was a Fulbright Semi-finalist. My proposal focused on how IMF’s Structural Adjustment Programs (SAPs) negatively impacted Ghanaian market women in the informal sector.

10. Although I claim that every song is MY jam, I only know all the words to about three songs, four if the song is played in the background while I sing.

Bonus Factoid: 11. I’m very much an introvert. I love spending time with and in my thoughts. But I do love people and hearing their stories, which makes me a great listener and the best secret keeper.

Bonus, Bonus Factoid: 12. I’d rather be happy than I credit to my race. I renounce, reject, and rebuke all gender, class, and race constructs that keep me from being authentically Kara.  I believe The Strong Black Woman trope, in particular,  is a straight up conspiracy  ( a C-O-N-SPIRACY) to strangle every bit of happiness that brown, brilliant, black girls harvest and hide for themselves.

 Bonus, Bonus, Bonus Factoid: 13. I’m a new mama. And on some days I feel like I know what I’m doing. And on other most days, not so much.
 
Talk soon!
 
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There might well come a time in your life when you feel the need to somehow start again with regard to your finances. When that time comes, you need to know what it is that you can do, and how it is likely to work out. The truth is that there are plenty of ways of approaching this, and as long as you are happy to do so you will find that you can soon enough give your life a much more stable feel to it too. Any financial refresh is likely to help you keep things on track, and it is something which most of us will find we need to do at some point in our lives. In this article, we will take a look at what this might entail, and what you should consider essential if you really want to make sure that your financial life is given such a necessary boost.

Step Back & Analyze

If there is anything that will prove necessary in order to refresh your financial life, it is taking the time to step back and really analyze deeply what’s going on. It is all too easy to get caught up in your own finances, to such a degree that you can completely lose sight of the bigger picture and what is going on generally. However, when you make a point of stepping back to analyze it as a whole, you will suddenly find that you are faced with some stark evidence of what it might be that needs fixing. That can be a painful moment, but it is vital if you are to make the right kinds of changes for your own financial future.

This process of stepping back to analyze means that you need to develop a cold and detached view of your own finances, and that is not something that comes naturally to everyone. However, it is something that anyone can develop, and once you have learned how to look at your finances in this way, you will probably find it a most useful tool for the future too. When you are first starting to step back and analyze your finances, you will find that it is hard to know what to look into, or which details are important. The easy answer here is that, at first at least, it’s all important, as it all allows you to gradually get to the bottom of your own financial situation. So make a point of starting to look at your finances in this way, and you will find that you are already moving in the right direction.

Above all, you need to start to identify what it is that you need to change. You can only do that by looking at both the bigger picture and the smaller details, the macro and the micro. So try to do just that if you are keen to give your life that refresh that it really needs. You will soon discover some areas for improvement which you can work on soon enough.

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Make Snowballing Changes

Part of the reason that it can seem so overwhelming to completely change your finances around is because you are thinking about it in such huge terms. While you can expect these big changes to occur, it is a good idea – indeed, necessary – to make sure that you are thinking about them in terms of their smaller constituent parts. That means that you should focus first and foremost on the smaller changes, as it is only by taking small steps that you ever take the larger steps. This will help you to keep focused on what you need to do, and it will mean that you are going to be much less overwhelmed as you try to make such significant life changes too. These small changes, however insignificant they might seem at first, will soon enough add up to bigger and bigger changes, and it is this snowballing effect which ultimately makes the difference. So don’t be afraid to make small changes when you want to change your financial life around.

Of course, you need to know where to begin, and the truth is that you can start with simple practical stuff that might seem to make hardly any difference at first. Let’s think about the bills you pay each month. You might well feel that reducing these slightly won’t really help, but that is not quite the case. Actually, if you can keep your bills down, it will mean that you can hope to make a big difference overall. If you think you could save money on your cell phone, think about something like https://www.smarty.co.uk. If you feel that your energy bills could be reduced, you might want to look into using a tool like www.moneysupermarket.com. All of these little things really do make a difference, so it’s important not to overlook them if you can help it.

 

It goes beyond the monthly bills, too. Even something like finding a way to improve your cooking skills can mean that you spend less on food. As you are probably starting to appreciate, completely refreshing your financial life often means focusing on changing things you might never have considered needed changing or altering at all. Once you start to make these changes, you will see some profound effects in no time, which will help to spur you on.

Recovery Planning

When you set out on this mission of improving your finances, you need to make sure that you are starting off right. That means knowing where you are heading, what you want to achieve along the way, and how you hope to make it all come together. In short, you need a plan, and it is this method of recovery planning which will mean that you can make the most of the whole journey. Let’s take a look at what might be involved in recovery planning, so that you can hope to get moving in the right direction straight off the bat.

 

First of all, make sure that you have one major, clear goal in mind for what you want to achieve. Something like blog.conqueryourdebt.org/ could help here. It could be something very concrete with an obvious endpoint, such as paying off every penny of debt you have. Or it might be more nebulous, but still important, such as improving your general approach to money so that you have more of it at the end of each month. Whatever it is, you need to be absolutely clear on what it is, and make a note of it. It might even change over time, and that’s fine too – the important thing is that you have something at all times that you are working towards.

Then you need to think about what you need to do to get there. That means having headlines about the major steps along the way, and also planning for as much detail as you can. With all of this kind of planning, you need to make a point of being as detailed and honest as you can be. Don’t make any guesses except where absolutely necessary: just work out specifically, to the penny if possible, what you are going to have to do. If you can do that, your plan will come together exactly as you need it to, and that will mean that you are much more likely to have the kind of success you are hoping for.

As you can see, it is always possible to give your life a financial refresh, so long as you know how to begin.

Source: http://www.thefrugalfeminista.com/blog/

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Later this month, my wife and I will celebrate our five year anniversary. Which feels like an accomplishment. Not because getting and staying married makes you any specialer than those who ain’t either of those things, but because I think we know each other well enough now to make a pragmatic decision on whether to escape. And there’s been no escaping (yet)!

With this anniversary comes some pressure. Year Five is one of the years that’s recognized by the greeting card industry and shit, so you know it’s a big deal, as what we’re supposed to buy, what we’re supposed to do, which animal we’re supposed to sacrifice, etc., are less questions than commodifiable goods. According to the Internet, there’s a standard gift (wood), a modern gift (silver), a preferred flower (daisies), and a gemstone (turquoise). Which together sounds like we should just buy each other Infinity Gauntlets.

 
 

I’m not too worried about that, though. We’ll figure it out, and like with the rest of our marriage, if all else fails, we’ll just eat some zinc pills. What really concerns me—and has concerned me for our entire relationship—is that I still haven’t quite figured out how to address my in-laws, and I feel like I probably should know that by now.

Now, my father-in-law doesn’t live in-state, and I only see him a few times a year, so this isn’t as pertinent with him. But my mother-in-law lives five minutes away. We see each other multiple times a week, and also occasionally correspond through text messages and phone calls. And when any of that happens, the following thing also happens:

***Mother-in-law comes over***

Her: Hello!

Me: Hi! How are you today?

Her: Great! How are you?

Me: I’m splendid!

***I need to call my mother-in-law to confirm what time she’s coming over to babysit***

Her: Hello!

Me: Hey ... I was just calling to confirm the time for tonight.

Her: Does 7 still work?

Me: Yes ma’am. It does. Thank you!

This—the excited greetings without a name or some sort of honorific accompanying them—doesn’t seem to bother her. I doubt she’s even noticed. But, while it doesn’t really bother me either—I’m fine with keeping things as they are—it just seems ... odd. Like this is something I should’ve figured out by now.

As I see it, there are four possible options here:

1. I can call her by her first name, which seems too informal. (And by “too informal” I mean “like some white people shit.”)

2. I can call her Ms. + her last name, which seems too formal.

3. I can call her Ms. + her first name, which feels performative and blaxploitationey.

4. I can call her “Mom,” which, um, no. I just don’t feel comfortable with that.

(Interestingly enough, reason #4 is actually one of the tens of thousands of reasons I neglected to jump in during last month’s “Auntie” wars. I don’t call anyone “Auntie” or “Uncle” except my actual aunts and uncles. And as much as I appreciate and adore my mother-in-law, my mom is dead, and I just can’t call someone else that.)

Now, I imagine many of you are reading this and thinking “Um ... why don’t you just ask her what she’d like to be called?” And yes, that’s the best answer. The smart answer. The adult answer. BUT IT’S BESIDE THE ENTIRE FREAKIN POINT BECAUSE THE SORT OF PERSON WHO HAS SOME MILD ANXIETY ABOUT HOW TO REFER TO A WOMAN HE’S KNOWN FOR SEVEN YEARS IS ALSO THE SAME SORT OF PERSON WHERE “EASY” ANSWERS LIKE “Just, you know, ask her” AIN’T EASY AT ALL! Also, an extensive four-person survey I did on Gchat and Slack 10 minutes before writing this proved that there are at least two other people not sure what to call their mothers-in-law, which officially makes this an epidemic. (For what it’s worth, both of the men I asked are in the same boat as me, while the women were both like “You’re running out of things to write about, aren’t you?” Maybe there’s a there-there.)

Again, though. We seem to have a good system now, so there might not even be a need to change. (And, now that I think about it, I don’t remember her ever calling me “Damon.” Maybe she’s writing a blog about it too.)

 

Source: https://verysmartbrothas.theroot.com/

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Queen Sugar’s fourth season has not disappointed one bit. Not that I expected it to, but the writers continuously find new ways to hit us with shit we absolutely did not see coming. This week’s episode was no different. I had enough moments that elicited a physical reaction in episode 4, “Skin Transparent,” that I decided that 1) I had to write about it; 2) the only way I could write about it was to recap it in GIFs. Buckle up, Buttercup: Nova Bordelon has leveled up the trash game to new heights.

 

We open up with Nova outchea sad that nobody is returning her calls and apparently the only person who wants anything to do with her is Young Protegé, Micah West, who apparently is also on the outs with his boo because he’s going full light-skinned and you never go full light-skinned. 

Charley and her new boo Romero (I’m not sure he’s really a new boo anymore) legit got up a whole-ass clinic in like a week. They’re efficient as hell.

And because Charley is a mix between Olivia Pope and apparently Clarence Avant, she both managed to find out who sent Micah those threatening letters AND the person is now in police custody.

Source: https://verysmartbrothas.theroot.com/

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It’s mid-July, which means it’s almost August, which means it’s almost fall, which means it’s almost that time of year when everything dies, which means you’ll soon be contemplating your own dwindling mortality and inevitable death. Since we don’t have much time left, we need to spend as much of it as possible living our very best alive-ass lives. Apparently, there’s a whole entire Megan Thee Stallion-inspired movement devoted to doing exactly that. (There’s also a thing called a City Boy Summer, which to me sounds like you just work at an inner-city non-profit.)

 

But what if you can’t really deal with all of that Hot Girl/Boy Summer heat because you’re experimenting with a new charcoal-based deodorant and you’re not that comfortable being overheated around crowds yet? What if things like “moving your lips while talking to people” just seems too time- and energy-consuming? How do you live your best midsummer life then? Fortunately, I’m currently in the midst of an Appropriately Chilled Kombucha Boy Summer, and I can share some tips on how to be more like me.

1. Drink all the kombuchas, even the ones that come in bottles.

Wait,” I can hear you asking “there are kombuchas other than the ones that come in bottles?” This is the sort of question I’m here for because if you were already living your best Appropriately Chilled Kombucha Boy Summer, you’d already know you can get kombucha on tap. You wouldn’t even step foot twice in an establishment that didn’t have it. But, if you want to continue to slum with bottled kombuchas, both the Watermelon Wonder and the Guava Goodness flavors of GT’s KOMBUCHA are the best.

 

2. Randomly do 20 pushups before going to an event.

Although doing this adds absolutely, positively nothing to your look, you’ll feel like your muscles are a bit bulkier than usual, which will make you walk around with your chest out and your head high as everyone (in your head) admires the musculature you (don’t) possess. You might even offer to grab things off of shelves, so people will think, “Wow. That kombucha boy with the brolic forearms is also quite magnanimous.

3. Wear shirts while in public.

4. Record yourself doing the laziest possible workout at the gym, and then post it to social media with a hashtag like #itsGodsfault or #blamehim.

If your work out of choice is basketball—like mine is—don’t actually record yourself playing in an actual game. But wait until everyone leaves, and see how many threes you can make in an empty gym with no defense as I did!

 

5. Say things like, “Are you sure that’s filtered?” and “Maybe a rug would add more heat to this room” and “Does that Uber has a changing table?”

6. Watch Euphoria.

Don’t even tell people anymore that you only watch it because it comes on after Big Little Lies and you’re too lazy to change the channel. I mean, you are too lazy to change the channel. That’s true. But even a slightly more energetic you would still watch.

7. Sleep for 13 hours a day.

Steve Harvey caught some heat for saying that rich people don’t sleep eight hours a day, but he was right! If you’re rich with appropriately chilled kombucha, you don’t even get out of bed unless it’s to restock.

8. Rock crooked sunglasses when at parties.

Of course, if you’ve developed a sunlight sensitivity over the past several years—like I have—the sunglasses are practical. But when people see you, they’re not going to think, “Look at that guy with the sunlight sensitivities.” Instead, it’ll be “Look at that Appropriately Chilled Kombucha Boy living his best life. I bet he has TSA PreCheck.” And if the glasses also happen to be crooked, then they’ll think, “I know that Appropriately Chilled Kombucha Boy ain’t a pimp, but his glasses have a lean. I bet he’s carrying a Container Store gift card in his wallet.”

 

Source: https://verysmartbrothas.theroot.com/

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“Okay, ladies, now let’s get in formation,” Representative Rashida Tlaib (D-Mich.) tweeted yesterday (July 14) to her fellow women House representatives of color: Ayanna Pressley (D-Mass.), Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.), Ilhan Omar (D-Minn.), Barbara Lee(D-Calif.), Pramila Jayapal (D-Wa.), Veronica Escobar (D-Texas), Deb Haaland (D-N.M.), Karen Bass (D-Calif.) and Lauren Underwood (D-Ill.). Tlaib’s response was part of a Twitter storm unleashed on President Donald Trump following a series of racist tweets on Sunday (July 14) that included the sentence: “Why don’t they go back and help fix the totally broken and crime infested places from which they came.”

His comments were apparently directed at Ocasio-Cortez, Omar, Pressley and Tlaib—three of whom were born United States citizens, while Omar was born in Mogadishu, Somalia, and came to the U.S. as a teenager—and the representatives, and their supporters, did not hold back.

 

 

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On Tuesday (July 9), oral arguments begin in a case that could result in millions of Americans losing their health insurance. And as a three-judge panel at the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals in New Orleans listens, a contingent of Americans—from youth advocates to physicians—are making their voices heard in support of the Affordable Care Act (ACA).

The lawsuit at the heart of Texas v. United States​ was filed February 2018 by two Republican governors and five Republic attorneys general against the federal government. “A question at the heart of the case is whether the Affordable Care Act’s mandate requiring most Americans to buy health insurance or pay a tax penalty remained constitutional after Congress eliminated the penalty as part of the tax overhaul that Mr. Trump signed in 2017,” reports The New York Times.

If the mandate is deemed unconstitutional, it leaves open the question of whether the rest of the ACA can function without it. In December, Judge Reed O’Connor of the Federal District Court in Fort Worth, Texas said it could not and that the entire law must be dismantled. The appeals court hearing will now decide if O’Connor’s decision should be overturned.

Without the ACA, there would be an increase of almost 20 million people without insurance, according to Urban Institute. An additional estimated 52 million adults ages 18 to 64 could be denied coverage that they now qualify for if ACA provisions such as the mandate that people with pre-existing conditions be insured are revoked. There also would not be a cap for out-of-pocket medical costs that insured Americans would have to pay. Since the ACA was put into effect in 2014, Black and Latinx Americans have had the greatest decrease in the number of people who are uninsured. 

The fight to save the ACA is led by many groups, including the Democratic Attorneys General Association (DAGA), which today announced a rollout of digital and print ads focused on the attorneys general who filed the lawsuit.

“President Trump may call the GOP ‘the party of health care,’ but the truth is these Republican AGs are in court this week trying to sabotage health care coverage for millions of Americans,” Farah Melendez, political director for DAGA said in an emailed statement. “These health care hypocrites are attacking the critical care people in their states rely on to go to the doctor, afford prescription medication, and take care of sick kids and family members.”

 

 
 
Health Care for America Now and Physicians’ for Reproductive Health are asking Americans to share their stories about how their lives will be upturned if the ACA is repealed, both online and in public rallies. And other organizations are using social media to speak up. 
 
 

Advocates for Youth, a nonprofit that fights for the rights of youth globally, have also stepped into the fight. “It is the height of irresponsibility to rob millions of young people of the health coverage they need. The ACA goes a long way toward affording young people the opportunity to take care of their health and plan their futures. The Fifth Circuit must overturn this decision and uphold medical best practices, common sense, and basic human decency,” Debra Hauser, president of the organization, said in an emailed statement.

Legal experts predict that the case will eventually go to the Supreme Court of the United States, likely around the time of the 2020 presidential election.

 

Source: https://www.colorlines.com/

 

 

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Spoilers for “Pose” follow.

On Tuesday’s (July 9) episode of “Pose”—written by series creators Janet Mock and  Ryan Murphy, who also directed the episode—viewers were confronted with the brutal reality of violence against transgender women. In an interview with Deadline, Mock and Murphy discuss the way that Candy (played by Angelica Ross) died on the show.

“We were quite sure that we didn’t want it to be necessarily anchored around the epidemic of HIV/AIDS at the time,” Mock said. “Instead, we wanted to really concentrate on the epidemic of violence that trans women are facing, not just back then but today. And we wanted to illustrate what loss looks like for this community in a very deep and impactful and grounded way.”

Per the Human Rights Campaign, 13 trans women of color (all but one identified as Black) have been killed so far this year.

“We have this duty and this burden of occupying this space on television which is so accessible to millions of people, that we needed to have our viewers that were watching, who are just being introduced to this world and to these characters, that they need to also feel that loss…someone who was beloved, someone who stole scenes and someone who had these iconic moments on the show. So, because we had all these touchstones with her for 11 episodes prior, we knew she was the right person,” Mock said.

“We spent a lot of time talking about and plotting it out and working with the actors. It’s important to talk about this issue right now in our culture when so many trans women are being killed and they’re headlines. At best, they’re on page 24 in a newspaper and then the next day they’re gone and forgotten,” said Murphy. “We didn’t want to do anything gratuitous. We wanted you to know the characters, we wanted you to be invested in them. Because I feel so many times there is the trope of ‘kill your LGBTQ characters.’ Sometimes as a plot point, as opposed to a character development point.”

Read the full interview here.

 

Source: https://www.colorlines.com/

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Marion Stokes privately recorded television twenty-four hours a day for over thirty years.

Stokes is the subject of Recorder: The Marion Stokes Project, a new documentary that highlights her work as an archivist, but paints a complex picture of a woman who was brushed off as an eccentric for most of her life. For thirty-plus years, multiple tapes (sometimes as many as eight) would record concurrently across multiple televisions as Stokes personally watched two monitors at once.

Former librarian Stokes, who became independently wealthy through technology and real estate investments, began casually recording television in 1977 and taped a variety of programs, but thought news was especially important.

In 1979 during the Iranian Hostage Crisis, which coincided with the dawn of the 24-hour news cycle, Stokes began recording MSNBC, Fox, CNN, CNBC, and CSPAN around the clock by running as many as eight television recorders at a time. Marion single-handedly built an archive of network, local, and cable news from her Philadelphia home, one tape at a time, recording every major (and trivial) news event until the day she died.

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“She was interested in access to information, documenting media, making sure people had the information they needed to make good decisions,” says the film’s director, Matt Wolf.

Stokes was no stranger to television and its role in molding public opinion. An activist archivist, she had been a librarian with the Free Library of Philadelphia for nearly 20 years before being fired in the early 1960s, likely for her work as a Communist party organizer.

From 1968 to 1971, she had co-produced Input, (which itself was recently recovered and digitized) a Sunday-morning talk show airing on the local Philadelphia CBS affiliate, with John S. Stokes Jr., who would later become her husband.

Input brought together academics, community and religious leaders, activists, scientists, and artists to openly discuss social justice issues and other topics of the day. Marion also was engaged in civil rights issues, helping organize buses to the 1963 civil rights march on Washington, among other efforts.

“Our vision is really aligned with Marion’s,” says Roger Macdonald, director of the television archives at the Internet Archive. “It’s really bold and ambitious: universal access to all knowledge.” Marion’s son had contacted the Internet Archive when he was trying to find a home for her tapes in 2013.

Macdonald immediately seized the opportunity. Those tapes were soon donated to the Internet Archive and are still in the process of being organized and digitized.

 

Source: https://goodblacknews.org/

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According to Variety.com, since signing a lucrative overall production deal with Netflix and after years at ABC“Black-ish” creator Kenya Barrishas lined up his first series for the streaming giant.

 

Netflix has ordered the single-camera comedy “Black Excellence”from Barris, in which he will also star opposite “The Office” and “Parks and Recreation” star and “Claws” executive producer Rashida Jones.

Inspired by Barris’ approach to parenting, relationships, race, and culture, the series is said to pull the curtain back and reboot the “family sitcom.” The series is reported to be similar to HBO’s “Curb Your Enthusiasm” in tone.

Barris and Jones will executive produce with Hale Rothstein, who has previously collaborated with Barris on his ABC series “Black-ish” and the Freeform spinoff “Grown-ish.” Barris will produce via his Khalabo Ink Society.

 

Source: https://goodblacknews.org/

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According to Yahoo! Sports, the first of what organizations intend to be an annual event will feature the North Carolina A&T Aggiesand Southern Jaguars at the Chicago White Sox Guaranteed Rate Field. It will join The Andre Dawson Classic as ways to promote HBCU schools, which are slowly watching their baseball programs fold.

Erwin Prentiss Hill, CEO of Black College Sports Group 360 (BCSG), told HBCU Sports he wants the event to “promote education opportunities to urban youth” who may not know of the schools or how to navigate the college admissions process.

 From HBCU Sports:

“Greatness comes from historically black colleges and universities. The bottom line is to get more urban youth back to our HBCU’s, so that talented young men and women can add to the legacy of our outstanding predominantly black universities.”

 

The Shadow League @ShadowLeague
 
 

With the decline in HBCU baseball, it's great to see that we'll have the inaugural HBCU World Series.https://shadowlg.co/2VFRfAY 

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NC A&T, Southern University Will Face Off In Inaugural HBCU World Series

The first pitch will be thrown at 1 p.m., Saturday, May 24.

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Baseball’s decline in lower-income communities

The cost of playing sports can add up quickly for families. It’s especially difficult to have to pay for a glove, cleats, bats and even uniform costs, now that there are fewer programs supported through park or school programs.

Participating on a travel team is even costlier and can require more shuttling around from parents, who might already be working multiple jobs to get by. Little League is so high-stakes it’s must-see TV in August.

Billy Witz covered the lack of African-American players on HBCU rosters Monday for the New York Times and noted the decline of baseball through the eyes of Bethune-Cookman athletic director Lynn Thompson. Thompson said places where he played sandlot ball in the 1960s were paved over for basketball courts and parking lots.

Recently, however, the percentage of black players on Major League Baseball‘s opening-day rosters in 2018 was the highest in six years at 8.4 percent. Between 2012 and 2017, 20 percent of first-round draft picks were African-American. Those numbers are in part due to MLB’s focus on its Urban Youth Academies that started in Compton, California, in 2006 and its Reviving Baseball in Inner Cities (RBI) program, launched in 1989.

“It’s been a huge investment for us,” Renee Tirado, MLB’s chief diversity and inclusion officer, said last spring. “Obviously growing the game amongst our players is a priority, so that uptick has definitely been from a concerted effort.”

Perhaps a focus on HBCU baseball will bring those numbers even higher in the coming years.

 

Source: https://goodblacknews.org/

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According to the Journal of Blacks in Higher Education, the Center for Digital Research in the Humanities at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln recently debuted an online database of more than 500 court cases in which enslaved persons had sued to gain their freedom. The Dred Scott case in 1857 is the most famous of such cases, but there were many more.

The project collected, digitized, and makes accessible the freedom suits brought by enslaved families in the Circuit Court for the District of Columbia, Maryland state courts, and the U.S. Supreme Court. African-American enslaved families accumulated legal knowledge, legal acumen, and experience with the law that they passed from one generation to the next.

The freedom suits they brought against slaveholders exposed slavery a priori as subject to legal question. The suits in Washington, D.C., the nation’s capital, raised questions about the constitutional and legal legitimacy of slavery, and by extension, affected slavery and law in Maryland, Virginia, and all of the federal territories.

One such case was that of Ann Williams, who leapt from the third floor window of a tavern on F Street in Washington, D.C., after she was sold to Georgia slave traders and separated from her family. She suffered a broken back and fractured her arms, but she survived.

In 2015, original documents about her came to light at the National Archives. Williams and her husband were reunited and had four more children. Then she sued for her freedom. And won. Below is a short film about her story:

The online database concentrates on cases filed in Washington, D.C. in the 1820s and 1830s. More than 100 of these cases involved enslaved persons who were represented by Francis Scott Key, the author of the “Star Spangled Banner.” As such the database is named “O Say Can You See: Early Washington, D.C., Law and Family.”

 

Source: https://goodblacknews.org/

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Most of my thoughts in the order that I thought them while watching the second season of She’s Gotta Have It S2 E7 #OhJudoKnow on a sunny Tuesday morning in Southern California while sitting —again--  on my pink, velvet couch.  (I’m procrastinating on going to the gym.) 

For the slow folk: SPOILER ALERT!!!!! 

Wait. We’re in Puerto Rico. I’m not mad at it. But like…. How did we get here? Was a trip ever mentioned? 

LOL. Puerto Ricans hate Christopher Columbus too. They’re just like us. 

Mars needs a show on the History Channel. His take on PR history is amazing! I would watch this all day. 

And yes, America, we do need to take down the Christopher Columbus statues. Along with the rest of the confederate monuments. 

Travel note: unless it’s a dude with a proven history of good taste, NEVER let a man pick the accommodations. Men don’t have the same standards as women. 

Winny tried to slip in that handcuffs and Nutella. LOL. 

Also, his jail flashback? I love Fat Joseph Cartenga. 

Mars in day-glo swim trunks is awesome. Also, I need to know more about the tradition of the seven dips in the ocean. And this seems to be a holiday. Cause there are fireworks. Which holiday is this?

Aww. Mars vulnerability in his prayer. “I’m down to learn if you’re down to teach me.” 

Ok. They’re walking around PR giving money away to organizations in Puerto Rico. And this is dope. I’m not mad at highlighting PR, or showing what’s happening on the ground in PR. It’s interesting and the cinematography is beautiful. I’m just trying to figure out how it fits in to the actual plot of the story. 

Ok. We’re picking up the eviction storyline from like five episodes ago. 

ROSIE PEREZ looks great! 

Awww! Poor Shemecca. These butt shots are a never-ending tragedy. 

Wait. WHAT? When did Shemecca become Winnie’s girl? 

“Where did you get a pair of those hazel eyes? Jamestown?” Wait. Is that a slavery joke? 

Ma Duke says Nola and Mars are like honey and molasses. They are. I think they would be horrendous in a relationship at this point. Ain’t a bit of responsibility between the two of them. 

Mother wisdom: The paintbrush must tell the truth of who we are. You are not serving your blessing. Your blessing is to speak for those who cannot speak for themselves. As an artist, I receive this. 

Wait. When did Nola’s show get confirmed? I know she was working on it, but like when did it happen? This is frustrating. 

 Free Africans in PR? What?? I need to go read. 

I love learning about the Afro-Puerto Rican culture and seeing all these beautiful, fluffy-haired black people and seeing all the Africa in Puerto Rico. And hearing this soulful music. Spike Lee is learning me something good today. And I need to go back to Puerto Rico and not just walk through Old Town and shop/eat. That said… 

There is no story here. It’s a bunch of beautiful, culture-filled scenes cobbled together. Like, if Spike wants to make a documentary about Puerto Rico as seen through the eyes of various characters he’s created over the years. I’m down for it. But doing it in the middle of another story is…. I appreciate the information. Just not the time/place for it. 

Ok. Mecca is talking about liking Winny and having issues with him running a burlesque club. But like, this conflict NEVER goes anywhere. They keep introducing conflicts and storylines that don’t go anywhere.  Whyyyyyyy?

The woman dressed as Oshun? Beautiful. And I’m probably expected to know who Oshun is, but honest to God, before everyone started making all the references after Lemonade came out, I had no real idea. Like, I knew of the orishas in theory, but not in any detail.  

Everyone keeps telling Nola that she is Oshun’s daughter and I don’t get the significance of this. I do not know what this means. I need someone in the story to spell it out for me. 

What ritual is Nola performing where she is dancing in white. I know it’s a ritual because of the white and the circle and the drums and the chanting. The lack of context is killing me here. Also, Africa is everywhere. 

Nola looks so beautiful. She’s a pretty woman. But something about travelling makes her even prettier. I thought she was extra pretty in the Vineyard scenes too.  Also, the blond in the yellow shirt is gorgeous too. 

These shots of Nola and Mars sitting by the water are amazing. People with melanin look so beautiful in white. The drone shot is amazing. 

I’m so confused by Rosie’s confession that Mars’s father is Mookie. Like you been lying to this man about his father for all these years and he has like no reaction to this? It defies logic. Like, his reaction is to have a question, then all laughs? Huh?

 Also, I get that she’s in character from Do The Right Thing for the father to be Mookie, but this is bizarre. 

I love this scene where Mars pays his respects to Roberto Clemente and other famous Puerto Ricans. 

Yeah. I just need Spike to go ahead and do a Puerto Rico documentary. Cause this was beautiful and informative, but plotless. 

 

Source: http://www.demetrialucas.com/dlblog/

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Most of my thoughts in the order that I thought them while watching the second season of She’s Gotta Have It  S2 E9 #IAmYourMirror on a sunny Tuesday morning in Southern California while sitting —again— on my pink, velvet couch.  (I’m procrastinating on going to the gym.) 

For the slow folk: SPOILER ALERT!!!!! 

 

Ok. So Nola’s art show came to fruition. Look. You never know with this series. Just because something is being built up to happen, does not mean it will happen.

My God. DeWanda’s skin look amazing. Shout out to her Mama and whoever is on lighting. 

“Yennifer Clemente” looks like Beyonce circa Austin Powers.  

What is the significance of the face mask?. A guy was wearing one at the Prince Party – was that Spike?—and then someone else, the fisherman, had one on in Puerto Rico. And then now Nola has re-painted Opal’s portrait with a goddess wearing one. 

Miss Ella talking about “don’t worry about the rent” is the most illogical sh— ever. No one who is a landlord says that. 

Awesome that Rockeletta Moss has a nice looking man. But is he really “elusive”? We’ve heard no mention if her love life thus far. This isn’t a reveal to the audience, but it seems to be to Nola. I’m happy she got love in her life, but where did this come from?  I get the feeling that a lot of story was written, shot and cut this season. Time? Episodes? Slow? Something that was supposed to happen didn’t happen.

The reactions to the art behind the curtain are so varied. I guessed that it involved a lynching just because the  therapist mentioned “strange fruit”. And I guessed it was a woman because most of the men—not all—were smiling when they came out the room. 

 

Source: http://www.demetrialucas.com

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